Not but a couple of weeks back, I was studying my tarot with no deck of mine. I had never had a Tarot deck of my own. The first time I attempted a reading, I was 13 and my friend got Crowley’s Thoth Tarot. Neither of us really knew what we were doing but it was good fun.
Later in life, I came across my friend with her Druidic tarot. She had an idea that this was “important” but didn’t really give it much thought.
Finally, I started studying officially, when I moved to Scotland, and started weighing getting my own deck. I mentioned it to my boyfriend (one of the few that I am out of the broom closet with) and one of my best friends, who is also my flatmate. She said she’d get me one as a Christmas present and I was glad thinking she knew me well enough to pick the right one for me.
Before she got the chance, my man back in my homeland, sent me my first deck. He had no idea what he was doing, so he got one deck that he thought had nice pictures. Bless him, he got me Osho Zen Tarot deck. My first deck ever, and my first altar cloth with the three moon phases in lovely purple. I love my man, clueless as he is, he is full of good intention.
After that, I mentioned my friend from the Counselling Course about learning tarot and she offered a deck she had and never used or wanted. I said ‘why not?’ and ended up with the very traditional (a little 60′s style) looking Yeager Tarot of Meditation deck as well.
Finally, not long ago, my flatmate presented me with TWO more decks, saying she couldn’t make up her mind because they were “too different”. So I ended up also with Shadowscapes Tarot deck and Anne Stoke’s Gothic Tarot.
I have the feeling that I didn’t have to choose my Tarot Decks. They came to me, in different ways and it might be coincidence to some (not to me, though) I have four different strong parts of myself, that I could relate to each one of those decks.
I have mentioned them in another post, don’t even remember which one, but my four sides correspondences are as follows:
“The Girl” – Earth/Pentacles – Shadowscapes Tarot
“The Sad One” – Water/Cups – Yeager Tarot of Meditation
“The Mad One” – Fire/Wands – Anne Stoke’s Gothic Tarot
“The Mind” – Air/Swords – Osho Zen Tarot
I did it in the order I’d gotten them. First Osho. I have to say, I’d been very logical about him. I read through the manual, marked the differences to the traditional tarot in my mind, blatantly going “I like this, I don’t like this”. When I did it’s first interview, the results were just horrendous!
The first four cards implied a huge gap between us, and only after I had “let go” (which is the 5th card) of my prejudices and then things would work. Only then I realised how rude and judgemental I had been with it. I apologised, as everyone should when they hurt someone, and tried again, with amazingly better results.
It was a much more open reading and it felt friendlier overall. I couldn’t but tell myself off mentally for being like that, when I know I shouldn’t be. I am studying not to be heehee. This spread told me this deck is for working together, as a team. It’s strengths are in inner processes and seeing what is inside each person. It’s a very introspective deck. It’s hard for it to analyse and investigate all that is outside, or be too minute about it. I felt it was ok, because I am good at that. It said it would teach me about Illusions and fear, and probably aid that side of me’s imagination. I have to still keep my mind crisp and sharp and the result will be the strong Chariot, leading to victory and self-assertion, through truly opening my eyes. Happy face.
After that, I tried Yeager. I was open to it to begin with and also enjoyed good, very interesting results.
This deck demands decisiveness from me and taking responsibility from my actions. It goes with the most passive and timid side of me, so it’s perfect that it is bold and has a strong, go-forward presence. It offers me community and friendship and promises a reward of courage and enthusiasm. It’s strength lies in fortitude and having a mind of its own; yet it lacks in the diplomatic ways and mildness that I can emphasise when reading it. Again, Happy face.
Next was probably my favourite so far. The Shadowscapes tarot is so beautiful it reaches out to me in ways the others don’t. It connects to my purest essence, and it is my favoured one so far, but without loosing what the others have to offer. It’s just that this side of me is dominant at the moment and pulls a bit more strongly. Here is the spread.
It presents itself with the Ten of Pentacles, in its structured, traditional magnificence. A strong dragon, whose most notable virtue is that of leadership and exploration, just like my Girl. It lacks perhaps that sense of fun and excitement that my Girl thrives with. Her freedom is its to share, to alleviate its responsibilities. It has a very important lesson for me, that of heartbreak, mine being battered as it is and loneliness. The best way for me to face it is by being confident and standing strong through it. The result of this, will be the King of Swords. Just, articulate and wise. Is it talking about himself or about me? Hopefully it is about us. The Shadowscapes is like a lover I cannot get enough of.
Last but not least(… ooh, never least!) is Anne Stoke’s Gothic Tarot. I did the spread almost as an afterthought, after a long day of work, and it empowered me.
It’s a strong material force, practical and trustworthy. You can see its best while delving into secrets, the obscure and things unsaid thought don’t expect a rapid conclusion or want to thread lightly and fast with it. It needs its time, and so do I. It’ll show me how not to be martyrised and seen as a victim, as long as I give it my all, it is demanding like a jealous lover. The result is the ability to be astute and forthright, through experience and self-assertion.
As I said before, these decks made their way to me, and I will try and be knowledgeable enough to figure out which one to use in the right occasion. Each one of them reminds me of one of my parts, those that make me. I am whole now, I am one, but if it wasn’t for each of them, I wouldn’t be. I honour them with these decks and my decks with them. Friends old and new.
Blessings and light.